27 Aug

Not Star Wars episode IV, yet still a new hope

Aw man, if I hadn’t been distracted I could have posted this exactly two years after I made the first post here. Missed it by thiiiiiis much. Ah well. Here’s to another two incredibly exciting years of blogging. 😜👍

I’m no longer seeing the psychologist – who I wrongly labeled psychiatrist (fixed that) – and I havent for quite a while. I didn’t really like him. In his defence, I generally don’t like people.

I don’t remember the last thing we spoke about. Don’t know what was said. I don’t know if I said I wanted to quit going – or him asking me if I wanted to – or what, but I ended up never going back. Looking through my email conversations with the guy it appear as if I canceled an appointment and never rescheduled. I don’t really remember.

I guess it’s worth mentioning that I hate being scrutinized. I hate to “spill my beans”, about my life, about everything. I hate how boring I am, and how boring I must sound to people when I try to explain my boring life to them.

Anywho, a while later – with the help of Marie – I saw a occupational therapist that had me trying a bunch of things to get me going. (Remember, the reason I’m “in this mess” is because I have a hard time kicking things off. I have a million ideas, and maybe three is seen through to the end; the rest of them are lucky if I ever even start working on them.

There was an app I tried that only managed to piss me off. It really didn’t help at all. (It had me tap-tap-tap-ing three times more than what, like, using the regular calendar on my phone would’ve. It was idiotic).

Eventually she ran out of ideas and told me as much. There wasn’t much she could do to help me, and sent us on our merry way.

Well, crap.

<montage> Stuff happening that I’ve forgotten about </montage>

Some time later we decided to look into how – or if – I could get a proper diagnose, because things weren’t improving. Spoke with a nurse and filled out a form. They told us it might take a little while before we hear anything, because they’re short on doctors.

I believe this was in spring, March perhaps? It might even have been before Christmas. It was chilly, but no snow. I don’t remember. My memory is out the window. I think I blame technology.

Anyway, time passed. Felt like forever. I was starting to think they might have forgotten about me, or misplaced the form. But being me, I figured I’d wait for summer vacations to end before calling them to check. Don’t want to be too hasty, now..

Lucky me I didn’t have to wait much longer, because one day I got a letter.

Apparently they hadn’t forgotten. Turns out I have a doctor’s apointment in October. Obviously no idea what she’ll say, but I’m hoping they’ll go through with the diagnosing. It’d be a relief for both Marie and I.

Of course I understand that even if they decide to go ahead, a diagnose is not guaranteed. I know that. But it gives me new hope.

I’ll see you around!

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